Love All But Trust God
Happy #truthThursday to you!
I was wondering recently how it is possible to love someone that I do not trust. This thought highlighted the way in which I have defined what it means to love another person. I eventually realised that loving another person has nothing to do with the person and everything to do with me.
My mother always says this:
Love all, but trust a few.
When she'd say that, I'd focus a lot on the 'trust a few part'. I obsessed with whom these few were that I could trust, never really paying any mind to the 'love all' part. If I had, I would have asked how it is possible to love someone that I do not trust. However, at those times there was never any fresh deceit in my mind that would prompt me to question my love for a person in the absence of my trust in them.
My obsession with trying to discern whom I can trust, as opposed to figuring out how to love all, betrays an inner selfishness that I probably have never confronted till now. I call it a selfishness because it is all about protecting myself from imagined enemies and 'untrustworthy' people. No one is trustworthy in the real sense of the word. I don't even know how to love myself completely. So why do I keep expecting other people to know how to love me? The person that claims to love me the most can unknowingly cause me the most pain. The person I deem the most dangerous can be the key to unlocking the best parts of my life. I have come to believe that it makes no sense to put my trust in anyone but God. Why should I trust people that are as fallible as myself? This doesn't mean that I will be suspicious of everyone, but that I need to learn to be accepting of people as they are- without judgement of who is good or bad, even as I strive to employ wisdom in my daily actions and interactions. If I have no expectations, there's no trust that can be betrayed. These are my current thoughts on trusting a few.
Loving all is hardest because it is divine grace. I am not used to being gracious. Even as I give to one that might not deserve it or be able to repay me in kind, I know that deep down there is something that I get in return, even if it is just that feeling of being proud of myself that I have given freely or acted kindly. But as I mull over this admonition to 'love all, but trust a few'. I realise that love is truly selfless because it pays absolutely no mind to what it can get and concentrates completely on how and what it can give. This is not because it does not want anything, but because it knows that all it has and will receive comes by the Grace of God and not by the work of its hands. Love comes without expectations. I cannot say that I am completely there yet.
In actual fact, I am used to loving someone or something because of what this someone or thing has done for me or because of what he or she has given me or because of the way this person or thing makes me feel. At the core of it, it has always been about me. I think about all the people that have wronged me in the past, and as a result, have had my positive thoughts and well wishes withdrawn from them. I don't wish them ill, but I don't take the time to wish them well either. If these acts of love can be given and taken depending on the actions of the person and the extent to which they are able to prove their trustworthiness to me, is that really love? If this is the way God 'loves' me, could I really describe Him as a loving God? If it isn't the way God loves me, then whose version of Love am I really emulating?
The thing about it is that love is freedom.
We cannot call it freedom when our actions depend on that of others.
One can love all but trust a few because Love stands on its own. It does not need anything from anybody. It is sufficient unto itself.
This is the love I aspire to.
A love that is independent of what is done to and for me, but all-encompassing and without discrimination.
This is how God loves me.
This is how I wish to love myself and others around me.
A person is trustworthy when he or she has love in his/her heart and is able to love himself/herself fully and in turn love you.
Am I trustworthy?
Am I worthy of trust?
That is a more pertinent question than 'is he/she trustworthy'?
I pray for the ability to love myself and others as God loves me - freely, indiscriminately and without any expectations.
I pray for the ability to trust in God alone, while I seek to become one that others can trust.
Until next time guys,