Happy #soulSunday to you
This Sunday we are thinking about seeking approval. Not in the way where you can't do anything on your own, but the type of approval we all seek from those trusted ones around us. I am sharing from my Friends Within. I hope it makes sense. Please feel free to email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
A lot of the time, I don’t know how to make my own decisions and be firm in them. When I desire something or what to avoid something I tend to ask other people around me what they think. I don’t ask them to give me more things to think about and then come to a decision on my own, I ask them so that I can get a stamp of approval - that’s okay that you’re doing that. Never mind that it’s what I want or don’t want, I seem to be in the habit of wanting to hear what someone else thinks. How do I stop this and learn to be responsible for my own decisions, think clearly about them and be guilt-free when I finally do make them?
We’ve talked about this before. We’ve said you have to remove the idea of ‘should’. It sounds bizarre and perhaps even a recipe for disaster, but it forces you to experience things and come to your decision yourself.
The question you’d ask is- why should I do something stupid because I want to be able to experience something and make a decision for myself, when I can just have someone who’s made the decision before, tell me if I’m on the right track or not?
You need to understand that experiences in life are necessary for different things. Some experiences teach you a lesson today so that you will not pay a greater price for the same lesson tomorrow. Some experiences are necessary because of your karma. Some experiences are necessary to build your character. Some experiences are necessary so that tomorrow you are in the right place to get better opportunities.
The problem with most people in the world is that they don’t want anything ‘bad’ to happen to them. Truly they do not know what bad is because their frame of reference is skewed. Bad is that which harms your soul and creates bad karma for it. Bad is acting in fear and thus acting in the absence of love. Bad is when you are unable to see each experience as an opportunity to learn something new and grow.
Growth doesn’t mean you will have more money. It doesn’t mean you will be smarter. It doesn’t mean you will have more friends or get a better job. Growth in its most meaningful sense, is the growth in your ability to love yourself and to love everybody around you. It is the growth in your ability to be free of judgement of all situations - because you simply do not know. Growth is a growth in your wisdom, knowledge and understanding about the way life works. That is the growth you seek and that is what your experiences give you.
When you were in an uncomfortable situation, you were unable to appreciate it and see in it the opportunities there for you. It wasn’t a bad experience. It was a necessary experience because now you have learnt that opportunities to be what you want to be are around you and so if you fail to get what you want it just means that you have not taken the opportunities that have been placed before you. Nobody could’ve told you or taught you about that with words. Experiences are God’s most profound ways of speaking to us.
As for your seeking approval, you need to look at the bigger picture each time you catch yourself doing that. The bigger picture is that this person does not know anymore than you regarding what you need to go through in life. This person can say - 'oh that’s good or no that’s bad', to you today and tomorrow say, 'oh that’s bad or yes that’s good' about the same thing to someone else. Man is fickle and his view point is so limited. Why would you seek approval from someone that does not know you fully now, talkless of the journeys your soul has made and the assignments it needs to perform.
It’s not abnormal that you want to ask people what they think, but it is not beneficial to you, especially given how no one knows God’s plans for you. If they do not know His plans. How will they be able to approve your decisions ? Remember this always. When in doubt, pray. Go back to ask yourself who you are. And try to understand the implications of that and what it means in terms of the things you should and should not do. Learn to listen to your intuition. It is there to guide you.
You are no longer a child. You need to be able to take full responsibility for your actions. You need to be unafraid to make a mistake. Mistakes are part of life and there are no accidents in life. Everything that is supposed to happen will happen. You may not like how it feels, but when you grow into the wisdom that every single situation is perfect, you will come to a place of acceptance. That acceptance is peace. Which is the balance you should seek.
When you are always at peace, you will be more focused and able to carry out your assigned tasks with no qualms and no worries.
There is nothing wrong with asking yourself, 'what do I want?' God gave you free will. He gave this free will to your soul because your soul knows what it has to do to get to where it needs to be. So that question is really a question, not to your mind- which is as flimsy as a flower in the wind- but to your soul, which holds the bigger picture, the map and directions.
Learn to listen to yourself. Grow some thick skin because we tell you today, there will be a time where most people do not agree with what you are doing or saying. Still, you must stick to your path because at the end of the day you will be answerable to none of them.
You have this knowledge now. Take it in and let it become yours. Remind yourself of this until it becomes a part of you.
Soon you will be able to stand on your own two feet and do as your soul desires. For your soul wants to please God. And in pleasing God there must be no judgement. For no one knows the mind of God to be able to judge. Be true to yourself. Don’t do to others what you won’t want them to do to you. And as for the rest, just listen to yourself.
God’s Truth is in you. There is no higher truth for you than that.
Your Friends Within