The Truth This Thursday
I want to take a step back here, just to check in with anybody that might be reading this post today. My last few posts make it seem as though I had it all figured out in an instant. I hope that is not the case because I am still figuring it out (as most people in the world are), but just in case it is, I want to take this #TruthThursday out to be very honest and paint as clear a picture as I can. The funny thing is that a lot of my clarity literally came overnight, but was after years and years of complaining, going on and on and on and feeling like God why have you forsaken me. It has been a lot of doubt and fear and uncertainty and limiting thoughts and behaviours. While I lived in India I was almost depressed. I don't know if that is the right word but I was constantly unhappy, I will share a bit about that experience at some point in the future. When I moved to London, a few months after I started working my life became a daily and persistent "FML/oh shit' moment. One day I was at the tube station on the way to work and I started crying because I literally didn't want to go to the office. I just stood there in the middle of the ticket hall and burst into proper tears! At the end, I still had to wipe my face and go to work sha #seeLife. There has just been a lot and I guess it is the people closest to me that have really felt it. So let me take a moment here to say thank you to them. Thank you to those that love me and support me and deal with my rollercoaster self.
Anyway, I just don't want to paint the wrong picture. In the last few posts, I have said a lot of these things:
Life is about opportunities.
There are no constraints in life.
And so on and so forth.
One thing that has always frustrated me about hearing about people's success stories is that the people that publish these stories often leave out the journey. I am so happy for the success, but to help me learn. I want to know how this person 'made it'. And not just saying 'they practised till they wept'. Or, ' they excluded everyone from their lives and remained focused'. Tell me about the mental struggles. The qualms, the pain, the moments where the person moved from a place of doubt to a place of action. How did they overcome their failures? How did they rise from their setbacks? It is one thing to say I got up and dusted off myself. It is another thing to actually experience that process. It does not happen with the snap of the fingers. It takes time and persistence and the little nudge from that part of you, no matter how tiny it is, that refuses to give up.
So this is just to encourage all of us out there still struggling.
Struggling to figure out what we want
Struggling to separate the external influences from the part within us that already gets it
Struggling, Struggling, Struggling.
Don't worry, the struggle is part of the journey and when you come out of it it will be like you are waking up from a very long, satisfying, sometimes fitful, sleep. You will be itching to get going and at that point, all your experiences to date will be the very things that point you in the right direction. Until then and still, in these moments, take the time to just enjoy yourself, even if it is for five minutes before you go back to the struggle bus. At some point, the bus will stop moving. You will get off, stretch your legs and there will be loads of people to welcome you and support you on the journey ahead.
Trust me. It's the Truth.
Have a great weekend ahead guys!
Till next Thursday,
(No Friends Within this time, just me :D )